Well when I was a kid I would take a trip
Every Summer down to "Mississipp," to visit
My Granny and 'er "Auntie Belluam World."
I'd run barefooted all-day long, climbing
Trees free as a song; One day I happened
To catch myself a squirrel.
Well I stuffed him down
In an old shoe box, and punched a couple
Holes in the top; When Sunday came I snuck em'
In the Church. I sittin' way back on the very
Last pew showin em' to my good buddy Hugh,
When that squirrel got loose and went totally
Buzzerk.
Well what happened next is hard to tell;
Some thought it was Heaven others thought
It was Hell, but the fact that something was
Among was plain to see.
As the choir sang " I Surrender All", the
Squirrel ran up Harv Newman's coveralls, and
Harv leaped to his feet and said something's got
A hold on me yeeeooow!
The day the squirrel went buzzerk in the
First Self-Righteous Church in that sleepy little
Town of Pascagoula. It was a fight for survival
That broke out in revival. They were jumpin' pews
And shoutin' "Hallelujah".
Well Harv hit the aisles dancin' and screamin'.
Some thought he had Religion others thought
He had a demon, and Harv thought he had a
Weed-eater loose in his fruit-of-the-looms.
He fell to his knees to plead and beg, and the
Squirrel ran out of his britchy-leg; unobserved
To the otherside of the room.
All the way down to the AMEN pew, where sat
"Sister Bertha Better-than-You", who had been
Watching all of the commotion with sufistic glee.
But shoot, you should have seen the look in her eyes
When that squirrel jumped her garders and crossed her
Thighs. And she jumped to her feet and said,
"Lord have mercy on me!"
As the squirrel made laps inside her dress,
She began to cry and then to confess
To sins that would make a sailor blush with shame.
She told of gossip and church disention,
But the thing that got the most attention
Is when she talked about her love life
Then she started naming names!
The day the squirrel went berserk.
In the First Self-Righteous Church
Of that sleepy little town of Pascagoula.
It was a fight for survival,
That broke out in revival.
They were jumpin pews and shouting Halelujah!
Well seven deacons and the pastor got saved
And 25, 000 dollars got raised.
And 50 volunteered for missions in the Congo
On the spot.
And even without and invitaion
There were at least 500 rededications.
And we ALL got rebaptised whether we needed it or not.
Well you've heard the Bible stories I guess
Of how he parted the waters for Moses to pass.
All th miracles God has brought to this l' world.
But the one I'll remember to my dyin day
Is how he put that church back on the narrow way
With a half crazed Mississippi Squirrel
The day the squirrel went berserk.
In the First Self-Righteous Church
Of that sleepy little town of Pascagoula.
It was a fight for survival,
That broke out in revival.
They were jumpin pews and shouting Halelujah!
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