Uncle Vernon
Uncle Vernon
Independent as a hog on ice
He's a big shot down there at the slaughterhouse
He plays accordion for Mr. Weiss
Uncle Biltmore and Uncle William
Made a million during World War II
But they're tightwads
And they're cheapskates
And they'll never give a dime to you
Auntie Mame has gone insane
She lives in the doorway of an old hotel
And the radio's playing opera and
All she ever says is go to Hell
Uncle Violet flew as a pilot
He said there ain't no pretty girls in France
Now he runs a tidy little bookie joint they say
He never keeps it in his pants
Uncle Bill
Will never leave a will
And the tumour is as big as an egg
He has a mistress, she's Puerto Rican
And I heard she has a wooden leg
Uncle Phil
Can't live without his pills
He has emphysema and he's almost blind
And we must find out where the money is
Get it now before he loses his mind
Uncle Vernon
Uncle Vernon
Independent as a hog on ice
He's a big shot down there at the slaughterhouse
He plays accordion for Mr. Weiss
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