I met a girl named Bertha
She said, she was a flat earther
On her way to the conference
I said, you know that that's nonsense
She said, this shit's not nonsense
You don't even know
Have you heard my silence?
I said, what about science?
And she said, science don't give me no love
I got talking to Linda
She was out on a bender
Flicking through Tinder
I said, how's that working for you?
She said, it's not working
It's just regret and embarrassment lurking
But it's late and I'm lonely and hurting
And where else can I get me some love?
Holding on for dear life
Always the bridesmaid but never the bride
A billion tiny islands in the ocean
All these characters I dream
Variations on a theme
Variations on a theme
Variations on a theme
I met a boy called Casper
He's a worldwide traveller
Talking about ayahuasca
As he stares into his pasta
He said, I probably shouldn't fly so much
Probably shouldn't get high so much
But I'm a lonely hedonist and my therapist says
I need to find ways to love myself
How could I forget Brian?
Opened the floodgates without even trying
I missed my stop on that train
Cos I got a lot of time for a grown man crying
He said, she loves me and I love him and he loves she
Still spinning a bottle on the topmost shelf
And looking for love like everyone else
Holding on for dear life
Always the bridesmaid but never the bride
A billion tiny islands in the ocean
All these characters I dream
Variations on a theme
Variations on a theme
Variations on a theme
Holding on for dear life
(Like everyone else)
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