Whoa-oh-oh
Whoa-oh!
Whoa-oh-ohh
Whoa-oh!
I took a trip to the Holy Land
I'm not really the churchy kind
I'm more the type to go on a laptop
And watch MILFs get pumped from behind
But I went there for a nosey round
And in this church tucked down a hole
I found what looked like a load of old writing
On this ancient papyrus scroll
It was an undiscovered gospel
The gospel of St. Geoff (whoa-oh)
It had laid there hidden for two thousand years
Shed new light on Jesus's death (whoa-oh)
Turns out he didn't die on the cross
No – he wasn't crucified (whoa-oh)
They just made that up to save his blushes
'Cos of how he really died (huh, huh, huh)
His twelve mates came back home to find him hanging
There in the holy land
With a crescent of mucky magazines
And his todger in his hand
You see...
Jesus died of a stranglewank
A stranglewank
A stranglewank
Jesus died of a stranglewank
And so did Michael Hutchence
Jesus died of a stranglewank
A stranglewank
A stranglewank
Jesus died of a stranglewank
And so did Michael Hutchence
And so did David Carradine
And so did Ian McCaskill
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