July 2008
The sun is high, what can I do today?
I’m with an older friend whose hunger for violence is grave
He just got a call
2 homies have an ass to slay
I’m 12 or 13 and I wanna act tough
I could prove myself if I beat that pussy up
He coarsely rejects my demand but I Insist
In the bus he keeps telling me man
“don’t you act like a bitch”
I don’t know what I got myself into
But now it’s 4 boys and a girl in a dark room
She sits on the bed
her back against the wall
her legs form an M
and awaits the brawl, she keeps her bra
I stand in a line,
frozen as Antarctica
My heart beats like a prey facing a predator
I’m here cuz
Doubts they lead
My doubts they lead
Their dark impulses knock your dreams out
Like an uppercut, from Tyson, Ali
They drag your dreams to the bottom of the sea
My doubts they lead
My doubts they lead
Their dark impulses knock your dreams out
Like an uppercut from Tyson, Ali
They drag your dreams to the bottom of the sea
Is this really going to be my first time?
My older friend goes first and it’s not kind
I sweat like a typhoon
my snake doesn't stand up
This is my moment of truth
My turn, time to man up
But I can’t
I just can’t
2 of em laugh at me including my older friend
The girl and the third man remain silent
I wanna be 6 feet under
I’m covered with shame
Doubts and dark energy merge
my self-esteem and confidence submerge
Like a sinking ship
Days weeks months later
My older buddy
brings the shadow of this story
When he wanna see me bleed
Doubts they lead
My doubts they lead
Their dark impulses knock your dreams out
Like an uppercut, from Tyson, Ali
They drag your dreams to the bottom of the sea
My doubts they lead
My doubts they lead
Their dark impulses knock your dreams out
Like an uppercut from Tyson, Ali
They drag your dreams to the bottom of the sea
Weeks later
The girl went to a psychiatric hospital
Because of some shit like that
Ever since that day
Doubts reign
When they yell
I feel the pain
Doubts they lead
My doubts they lead
Their dark impulses knock your dreams out
Like an uppercut, from Tyson, Ali
They drag your dreams to the bottom of the sea
My doubts they lead
My doubts they lead
Their dark impulses knock your dreams out
Like an uppercut from Tyson, Ali
They drag your dreams to the bottom of the sea
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