Will you still love me in December-cember
Will you still love me in December-cember
See lately, I really been stuck in my head tryna run from my problems at heart
"But, Big X, you the biggest the largest, you having your way", well shit, where do I start?
I know that my life seem great, you see all of this jewelry and all of these cars
But I'ma be honest, I only went got it to cover this hurt, and, my scars
I might as well tell you the truth, I'm tired
I go out every night, I don't fuck with this shit
If I doubt to myself, I be crying
Losing fights with my demons, I stay medicated, I do not be feeling like dying
Like, I wonder would my people miss me, if I take this pistol and blow out my mind?
I know it sound crazy, but nigga, I'm fighting to lose it
I'm trying, but shit, I'm tired
Only reason I feel like I'm here, is because I got kids, I can't leave them behind
My son, he autistic, it fuck with my mental, I sit back and question the Lord, like "Why?"
Like, what did I do, fuck it, what did he do? Cause he dealing with shit, he ain't even decide
Man, I know my lil' nigga be tired
I know how it feel to have all of these words, in your head, but instead you stay quiet
These niggas be lying, they go throw the most on my name
They don't know what that do to my pride
It's so hard to be in this position, when one fuck up, it change all of our lives
But, fuck it, I'm thugging it cool, shit, I'm lying, I'm feeling like dying
They don't how it feel to be sitting on top of the top, and your people still climbin'
They don't know how it feel to just sit back, and, smile like I'm good, when I know that I'm lying
Doing back to back shows on the road, so my pockets all full, but I'm empty inside
I'm Big X, so I gotta be good, I just want y'all to know that I'm tired
See lately, I really been stuck in my head tryna run from my problems at heart
"But, Big X, you the biggest the largest, you having your way", well shit, where do I start?
I know that my life seem great, you see all of this jewelry and all of these cars
But I'ma be honest, I only went got it to cover this hurt, and, my scars
I might as well tell you the truth, I'm tired
I go out every night, I don't fuck with this shit
If I ??? to myself, I be crying
Losing fights with my demons, I stay medicated, I do not be feeling like dying
Like, I wonder would my people miss me, if I take this pistol and blow out my mind?
I know it sound crazy, but nigga, I'm fighting to lose it
I'm trying, but shit, I'm tired
[SparkTheGreat]
Dry ass up at 3 in the morning, just making up shit in my head
Like what if I tried to jump off a bridge, who talking me down off the ledge?
Like what if I jump in that whip right now, and speed when the light turn red?
I gotta work in the morning so I can't kill myself, but I'm just sayin
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